Homework Asignments 12-13

Alright, I know, I know... You need homework.

Assignment #12
In chapter nine of Tilt, Edward and Bella try out the position "spoons."

I suspect that this is a favorite of my DH's.  It's a very gentle, relaxed position.  Lining it up can be a slight challenge but it's worth it.

http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_spooning.shtml


Assignment #13
Chapter ten brings on some comfort sex.  This position is another favorite here.

Sexinfo calls it "Rear Entry."

http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_rearentry.shtml

Alright everyone, try them out and let us know how well they work for you. 

*Artwork is a photograph by Mike Feeley*

Multiple O's a Female Perspective

Before anyone feels the need to kidnap Doc and his magic appendage I would like to inform you that there is a female side to this whole multiple orgasm thing. It doesn’t matter how well endowed a man is or how much stamina he possesses if you aren’t in the right frame of mind. Trust me, I’ve been there. So, what do I feel are the necessary factors? I’m going to warn you that none of this is what you expect and it won’t be nearly as sexy as Doc’s post. Here they are in no particular order:

Trust

I make no secret of the fact that I wasn’t a virgin when I married my husband. I spent years trying to assuage my daddy issues in the beds of willing guys. Most of them were descent, caring individuals with whom I probably could have had really good relationships. Some of them came with fantastic reputations for size, stamina, and skill in the bedroom. I really wanted it to work with each of them and thought that I was honestly in love and sometimes I was. The problem was that I didn’t trust any of them. I played the field and I never orgasmed other than at my own hands, not a single blasted time. Ultimately, I gave up my quest and decided that I was broken.

Even after I found Doc (with whom I share a crazy sort of chemistry) I still didn’t trust him. We went through around six years of marriage before I could finally put my emotional baggage to rest and give myself to him. At this point in our relationship I trust him so implicitly that I would let him do anything he wanted. It makes for a much more freeing experience in bed because he can try things and do things and I know that he’s not going to hurt me.

Love

For me, this is absolutely essential. I don’t know how people have sex without love. The couple of times that I tried having intercourse with someone that I didn’t feel some sort of genuine affection for were absolutely disastrous and resulted in tears. Seriously, I don’t know how anyone does it. This is part of the reason why I don’t personally support premarital sex. Sex and love should go together. It’s a magical combination.


Loving Yourself

This is the hardest part. We all seem to look at ourselves with the harshest microscope. What you think about yourself can cloud your ability to enjoy what you’re being given in bed. It can also make you self-conscious. There’s nothing worse than holding back because you’re afraid of how you look or sound in bed. There is no holding back when it comes to the multiple “O.” If you’re holding back because you’re afraid of how you’ll look or what you’ll say then it’s not going to happen. You have to give yourself completely over to what’s going on.

Being “In the Moment”

In bed you are not allowed to think about the house, the car, the kids, work, laundry, or anything else remotely unpleasant or stressful. It’s forbidden! There is no thought other than what is currently going on. Focus on the sensation and be honest. If something hurts or feels uncomfortable, this is where trust comes in, you must tell your partner. Sex is a learned skill. If he/she does something that doesn’t work you don’t want it to have to be unlearned later.

Sex is meditation. Focus. I’m serious on this, focus. Do not be distracted. If you need to work on your attention span start meditating outside of the bedroom on a daily basis.

Know Yourself

I know this is starting to sound like a self-help book but really, knowing what you need is essential. It took a very long time to figure out that I need a little bit of kink to help things along. Knowing what makes your body react is essential as well. If you can’t work the equipment, then you probably can’t help someone else work it either. Be willing to experiment because you never know what you’re going to like.

Exercise

Oh yes… now you’re groaning at me, aren’t you? In addition to helping your overall body image exercise can help you be in shape for better, more athletic sex. It also opens up additional sexual positions because let’s face it not every position works for every person.

Also on the exercise front is kegeling. Doc has pointed out how important kegeling is for a man to maintain an erection but strong vaginal muscles can be good for orgasm as well. Consciously constricting the vagina during sex can help you receive the necessary stimulation. This is particularly important for those who have had children. I could go on about the benefits of kegeling but there are plenty of other resources to tell you the hows and whys of kegels.

Practice Makes Perfect

'Nuff said on that topic - really.

I think that that’s all of the wisdom I have to impart. Most of this is common sense and there’s no sure fire technique for producing multiple orgasms. It’s a path you pretty much have to find on your own and I’m not sure that it exists for everyone. I make no promises but we went from having an abysmal sex life to insatiable multi orgasmic bliss so I wouldn’t count anything as impossible.

(Pic is off of the From Old Books website, it's 14th century calligraphy)

Homework: Extra Credit

Alright ladies... Thanks to Mal's frilly panties we're going to have an extra credit assignment this evening.  ;-)

The Doc got me my own Sex Deck for Christmas they're different from the official deck.  (Amazon has it listed in the sporting goods section.) Tonight's extra credit will be coming from there.  At random (I really did shuffle), The following two cards have been chosen:


The Queen of Hearts:
"The Drama Queen" or Bridge

Bridge is the closest approximation I can find, on my card the female recipient is in a more flat supine position.

AND

The Two of Clubs:
"The Ambush" or Screw

Okay, Screw isn't quite right but it's the closest approximation on SexInfo.  In "The Ambush" the woman lays down with her legs bent up and the male comes from the side.

Happy New Year!


(Photo borrowed from the BBC Wales because I thought that the bridge should be smiling.)

Homework Assignments 10 & 11

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Multiple Orgasms: The Male Perspective

Okay, this was a discussion that I somehow got sucked into, and I am still not sure exactly how that happened. There were some questions and some surprises from some of the things that I said, so I decided (after being asked by at least 2 people) to put it out there.

So here is the fundamental question that I am trying to tackle: How do I, as a man, give a woman multiple orgasms?

First and foremost, this is NOT, I repeat, NOT an everytime occurrence. Any program or advertisement out there that says it will happen is selling something. Be aware of that. Then again, they may just be better at sex than I am, which I freely admit is not only possible, but probable. However, there are many factors at play each time you have sex that can directly affect her enjoyment of the experience?

Consider some examples. Is she:
Stressed?
Preoccupied?
PMSing?
Menstruating?

Now, this is not all on her. Men, are you:
Stressed?
Preoccupied?
Tired?
Thinking of only your needs?
Caring?
Paying attention to your partner?

There is a LOT of responsibility on your part to succeed in this endeavor. Now, let me tell you how I have managed to accomplish this on more than one occasion.

The NUMBER ONE thing I have to do is pay attention to my wife. Is she in the mood, interested in a longer night, and willing to work with me. (Yes she has a role to play in this as well, but I will let my DW explain her side of it.) If she's not ready for it for whatever reason, it will not happen.

Secondly, pay attention to all of her needs. Listen, feel, sense, and respond. Take care of her first. If you can get her to orgasm first, you are well on your way to multis.

Thirdly, don't go first!!! I don't know how to tell you to guarantee this, but let me admit something sad and embarrassing up front. I am pretty much the proverbial "two hump chump." I would always go first, and way too soon for her. When she comes first, everything becomes more sensitive to your touch, caress, fondle, and thrust. In other words, the first orgasm is the hardest. Once she does that, you should be well on your way to building up the next one. It's not like men. Once we come, we want to have a snack or turn on the TV for half an hour. Not so for women. They are still aroused, and can increase if you are paying attention to their needs!!

I learned, over time, that the best thing for me to do was to distract myself. I'd think of cars, guns, TV shows, work, whatever it took to distract me from the sex in which I was engaged. That mental removal helped my longevity.

Now, once you do orgasm, that is when your work really begins. Yes, take the moment and enjoy yourself, but then you need to start kegeling. If you are not familiar with this, then just think of it this way, flex the muscles that you would use to stop peeing. It'll help keep the blood inside the penis. It won't be the best, but it will remain functional if you do it properly. You need to understand that this doesn't just happen. Practice kegeling everyday. Do it 50 times or so. I freely admit that it sounds stupid, but it works.

Also, now is the time for a complete mental 180! Now is the time to focus on everything that you are doing together. Stay in the moment. The sexual activity combined with the kegels will help you stay aroused long enough to regain full strength of a normal erection.

Please note that this is not easy, and there have been times where I had to slow or stop while I worked to maintain that post-orgasm erection. This could even be a good time to switch to some cowgirl position so that you can access the clitoris while she takes over the driver's seat. If she takes charge, you can steal a moment to try and "recharge the batteries."

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN:
Please remember that this is not a cure all. These pointers are just that: pointers! This is what has worked for my wife and myself. We have found success, and she has achieved multiple orgasms through my hard work and her... doing whatever it is that she does.

Just for the record, I usually maintain a usable erection for about 10 minutes after my orgasm, although my record is about 30.

On nights that we do this (in recent history, about 2-3 per month) she will have 3 orgasms to my one, although they are usually smaller in power, but longer in time. The one that I am proud of is also our record. We're not sure of the final count, but she had no less than 6 orgasms to my one. Please recognize that phrasing: "our recod"! This is a team sport, and you both have to be on board for it to work. Men, this means you have to work at it!!!

Now, I hope that this helps some of you, but I can only attest to that which has worked for us.

Yoga and Sex

Ooooh look someone other than one of us is saying it!  Yoga = better sex PERIOD:

The Big O in Ohm: Yoga for hotter sex

Not that I do yoga on a regular basis and when I do it generally involves the Wii Fit and an audience of small children.  So, I'm really not an expert.  I'm just flexible from dance lessons as a child, and an obsessive need to be able to touch my forehead to my toes, don't ask me why but I need to rest my head there.

I stumbled upon the article doing LiaV research and thought that y'all would enjoy it since we've joked about yoga a lot.  It's not a study, nor is it by any means scientific, but it makes some valid points.


The Picture is ganked from the article.

Homework Assignments 8 and 9

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